A takeaway about unconventional failures
“Every performer has a fear of failing. Andy’s brilliance was that he conquered that fear by including failure in his act.”
So said Miloš Forman, who directed the movie Man on the Moon about the life of legendary, innovative comedian Andy Kaufman, who often provoked, bewildered or even enraged his audience.
But Kaufman also inspired creators across the arts. Michael Stipe, lead singer of the rock group R.E.M., wrote the lyrics of their hauntingly uplifting hit song “Man on the Moon” (which became the movie title) as a tribute to Kaufman’s influence, after he died of lung cancer at 34 years old.
Kaufman entertained us eccentrically, and challenged us to confront our own zany thoughts and intense feelings. It was often not well received at first. He succeeded by frequent failure. Not despite it, but because of it.
The best leaders I know also fail often. Why? Because to make a real difference is to face risk, uncertainty, intense opposition, and mockery. To drive change is to stir up things that **will** go wrong.
Yes, we can learn from failures. We can identify things to do differently next time. But the goal is **not** to not fail. That can’t be done. But we can seek something even more valuable, because the core learning to gain from failing is **deeper** than mistakes to avoid. It’s a relationship to embrace.
To succeed over time, leaders must form a proactive, healthy, expansive relationship with failure.
And the best way to do **that** is through healthy, expansive relationships with people who challenge you & care about you.
The best leaders speak frequently with people who help them:
make sense of unwanted outcomes & discover their blindspots
generate options for what to do differently before, during and after setbacks
counter self-destructive self-talk with out-loud & active encouragement & support
process corrosive self-undermining emotions, so they flow through us, instead of staying cooped up inside, growing malignantly, through avoidance, denial or bravado
patiently realign our thoughts and emotions back onto purpose-driven tracks
remind us no matter how bad it is, and how imperfect we are & will always be, we can always re-align to our better self and our higher calling
These people also help us laugh, before & after failure, especially at ourselves.
Encourage your unapologetic inner Kaufman doing his famous imitations of Elvis or Mighty Mouse. Connect often with people who lift your spirits, or launch them into orbit:)
Kaufman often pretended to be a professional wrestler. His “opponents” partnered in risky, hilarious, scandalous brawls. That schtick epitomized his stance: He didn’t just wrestle with failure, he teamed up with it.
Kaufman’s style isn’t for everyone, but his lesson is: It’s easy to fail conventionally. it’s a leadership challenge to fail inspiringly.
The best leaders don’t just **have** great failures, they **are** great failers.
In this, Kaufman was a role model for all the arts, including the art of leadership.
Kaufman’s failures weren’t just knowledge-enhancing, character-building tradeoffs. They were intentionally sought, purpose-driven, inventive experiences. They weren’t just worth it in the end, they were worthy ventures from the start. They were comedic moonshots. Kaufman’s failures were innovations.
It’s a reminder for all difference-making leaders. Choose how to fail, before it happens.
For example, many in the media scoffed & jeered when SpaceX rockets exploded or crashed. They couldn’t possibly miss the point more. They don’t understand why SpaceX employees cheered when things went so terribly “wrong.” They miss what grand, tangible, cumulative progress in the real world takes, and the failures required to go further still. They forget what failing greatly means.
They forget what it took to put a man on the moon.
The best leaders don’t just learn from failures, they earn better ones.
That’s the takeaway: Be a phenomenal failer.